DiT! (doctor in training!)

i love my job. well, of course it’s not a job job- but it is what im doing for the season.

i actually like getting up at around 530am and getting ready so that i can comfortably make it in time for the ward round at 730.

i like riding the bike- even though i got caught in the rain just. (it’s interesting when there is a perspective change and the assurance that God’s placed you where you are for a reason)

im scaredpetrified of being questioned and yet that kinda drives me to want to learn more and acutally remember.. or try to:)

but today was one of the best! one of the consultants allowed me to scrub in and assist in TWO surgeries. i got a REALLY good experience and i thank God for it… although i still have to brush up on my scrubbing up quickly skill

it’s a happyhappyjoyjoy feeling. im off to do some research (happily!)

H.O.W

so, revelation at PrayerMeeting just.

H.O.W

when we ask God, “how?” maybe His answer comes when we go back to or have re-aligned ourselves with a HeartOfWorship

hmm.. and it’s your name too, dad. haha maybe kungkung is very wise/God-led when he named you….

or it could have been a funny story..

kungkung: his name is Chai Sze..how,ah? (to mama possibly)

nurse/naming officer person: ooh Chai Sze How nice also

tee.hee.hee. (happy advanced fathers’ day!)

scurrying thoughts (if there was ever such a thing)

love as motivator.

fullness of life. A-live

to God be the glory (always, not only for the things He has done)

choices (we make them, no matter how pressing the circumstances are0- the weakest of us still have the power to make thier own choices)

eph 3:16-21

His Spirit in us that empowers… infinately MORE than we would dare to ask or hope or even dream

 hope.

2008- a double portion (2 o’s)

roots go down DEEP

1 peter 5: 6,7->”humble yourself…CAST your burdens” (don’t have to carry the weight of my world)

1 Tim 2 “be strong in the GRACE… in the FAVOUR… “

the latter shall be greater

dreams.

the grace of God (a never-ending lesson)

the grace of God comes through

‘ grace will light a candle in the darkest hour’- Charles Spurgeon

‘ glory is grace in full bloom’ -Charles Spurgeon

thanking God for the things He has set in place even BEFORE the event/circumstance (there’s no denying that He is eternal/timeless/not bound by time) :

• the holiday car
• the apartment we will move into for 2008
• the semi- preparation before hand
• the people to work with
• family 
• the children
• technology (emails, phone, sms)
• whereis.com, street-directory.com
• the ability to read maps
• the friends to journey with
• the coffee machine gift
• the flexibility of AMS

* i reckon they will all be very very instrumental in the next 10 days  or so

blogs take 2 and words

was doing quiet time today and it hit me… like came upon me i guess:

the power of words being spoke out into an atmosphere.

maybe that is why people blog. because maybe deep down we believe that if we put it out there somewhere it carries a bit more weight than when left in the closet of our hearts… doesn’t really matter who reads it as long as someone does.. and if someone who we’re meant to ‘hint happen to chance upon it…’ then it could potentially be a bonus…

speaking into the atmosphere…. words carry weight and echoes in all eternity..

hmm …

*yay RENT

the power of words

so yesterday (wednesday) i was completely frustrated with myself/the computer (ESP MS ACCESS)… i had created a database program thing so that i could enter all my research data in the format of a form so that it can be adapted into a stats package to be analyse  and etc .. super crucial for hte AMS project.. and i had spent Tuesday working on it and finishing up on Wednesday morning after the DePaul round (which in itself is a story on its own-i still morethanloath cats)… and when the form was built i.e. fomatted with a nice layout and stuff… i trialed it.

it did not work.

MAJOR UGH!!!!!

and for the life of me i did not know what was wrong, so i consulted the Statistician on site who referred me to the hospital IT Department, and apparently the IT department “do not support databases created by users, i.e. databases not created by the department” – yes, add to my already Major UGH.. which now becomes MAJOREST UGH!!!

So the MAJOREST UGH + the DePaulRound Molly (yuck+palpitation+anxiety)+rushed homemade mocha+ compromised QT= HEADACHE and morethanMAJORESTUGH!

so in frustration, i left the hospital at 2.15pm (im thankful that the department had so many things going on that no one actualyl commented on my leaving so early plus the other girls were also heading off..)

[side note:im also thankful that even in the midst of the stress and frustration i did NOT delete the whole database -esp the tables and the other clauses that was set up- thanks, HolySpirit]

so in my huff i walked home and halfway thru CarltonGardens, i was reminded of the sermon on Sunday where Ps. Russell shared about the power of our words and how important it was to speak positively into the atmosphere and set the tone.. so i did. i told myself (and God) that “today cannot end this way. it HAS TO get better”

and when i reached home, resisting the urge to sleep it away (and depend on the endocannabinoids) i went onto what i promised my brother- carrot muffins. and i want to also add that i resisted the urge to watch GilmoreGirls- instead, i put my WindowsMediaPlayer on , thought it might be a good idea to put on some worship (i mean if i can’t worship/be superly praise-and-worshipful, then at least the laptop can on my behalf).. but in some way that can only be the HolySpirit’s doing, i decided to listen to the podcasts i had downloaded a few months ago… and i chose JentezenFranklin.

so there i was: a bit of head-throbbing and listening to Jentenzen Franklin while grating carots with a superly small grater. somewhere between listening to the many sermons and finishing the muffins, God came through and just ministered to me.

no, it wasn’t all thunder and lightning and everything frightening, it was in a still and quiet way .. just like a release sort and by the end of it, i felt His peace, His healing and His strength again. i was able to again think straight, put whatever that happened behind me and continue to move forward.

Praise God. Praise God for more than just a healing, but also other bonuses like:

- ideas for MUOCF’s A-night/Commissioning Night when Rachel called

-ideas for NativityPlay and SAS; to believe again and to be reassured that there is always hope, even when everything and everyone says otherwise. impossible is nothing for God [no, i didn't remember it wrongly]

-ideas for my project/ database

-the SaviorKing CD lent to me that arrived unexpectantly (sooner than i anticipated)

AND TODAY! i came into the hospital again (at 8.28am) and i went to the usual ward rounds and saw several patients… and then sat down to semi-startover my database.. and i have finished! and it works.. and i just want to praise GOD

You are so good

“Cause i know my God’s saved the day and i know His Word never fails, and i know my God’s made a way for me “

yay-ness

[note to self: maybe add photos of baking stuff-- erm, apple scone cake, carrot muffins, biscotti i think baking is super good...]

JDI

stepping out in faith.

what does this mean?

there are moments where i really feel that God’s leading me down a particular road and i should do certain things, or say certain prayers in obedience to the promptings in my heart… but something has almost always held me back.

and there are often times when the prayer that i had been wrestling with whether or not to say it, i hear it prayed by someone else. Initially, i had thought, “wow. yay. confirmation. way to go, God!” but lately i have been thinking maybe i have been missing out… what would happen if i had stepped out in obedience to the prompting and believed…. if this is what the HolySpirit is leading me to then im to go all out for it, right?

what is it that is holding me back?

few that i identified: fear, embarrassment…. and the root of it: pride

i pray You will help me crush its ugly head and not let it ever return, please help.

i hate that it is robbing me of being a part of what God is doing all around me. before i came to this realisation, i had lunch with myAussieMentor, who is superbly a blessing and i love how she can just speak into my life…

just do it, she says. you’ll never know if it was a God- thing or a JeRiCa-thing until you have stepped out in faith…. people don’t step out in faith enough… faith and obedience.

 wow. been thinking through these words all today and especially at the prayer meeting before OCF and through OCF itself. it happened again.

God has been speaking to me, laying things on my heart… so why am i hesitant to be the vessel to channel it through to the people around me.. what am i afraid of? i’ve got to get over this glass ceiling that the enemy or even myself is trying to put over me and limit what God can do in my life…

Ps.MikeF said it so well today.. God’s glory is already here on earth.. but we aren’t able to see it until  He unveil our eyes in His mercy… and by His Spirit…
with His help, i’m going to try something new from now on: i’m going to Just Do It because Jesus’ Done It

walks home…

You’re the Saviour of my soul
You’re the One i need my strength to carry on
You breathe new life in me
You came to set me free
No one else can take Your place

You’re the Saviour of my soul
You’re the One i’m reaching for
You’re the King of kings
You’re the Lord of lords
No one else can take Your place

You’re the Saviour of my soul
You’re the Saviour of my soul
You’re the end of all my searching
The Beginning of my dreams
The One who knows my hopes and fears
And lives inside of me…

-Youth Alive

WOW (x2)

NO! it is NOT WorldofWarcraft or WarorWorldcraft.. whatever games think.. it’s …

Words Of Wisdom (on) Walking On Water

yup at IP, that was my revelation-WoW

i got reminded of when Peter was walking on water.. Matt 14 i think.

So there the disciples (Peter included) were in a boat crossing the lake without Jesus (He was spending time with God) and then outofnowhere a HUGE storm came.. so huge that experienced fishermen were panicky…

**what were they really afraid of? i often wonder what they were thinking during that moment:
- shouldn’t have followed this Rabbi, how can He let us die like this?
-i wish i told my parents how much i loved them?
-oh look it is a (insert species of fish)
-is that a leak in the boat?
-ewww, men are smelly when they are wet..
haha okay those are like my randomnest thoughts… but i wonder what they were really thinking… back to the story

so in the midst of all this panic they saw something… a ghost they think.. so they scream in terror (come on, we’re talking about men here!) … but Jesus said that He was there with them…”Do not be afraid..”

Only one dared to ask if it really was Jesus- Jesus, their Rabbi, the one they have given their life to follow- “is it You, Lord?” he asked, i suppose, while trying to keep water out of his eye. “if it is You, bid me come.”

“Come”

**for a moment, i believed the magnitude of this present catastrophe faded [And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace] and all he could see, all his focus was on Jesus, his Rabbi, the Messiah.

So he got out of the boat, first looking toward Jesus and was getting along fine… but then the Bible says that he then saw the wind and the waves and the panic return and this time it was, “JESUS! HELP!” before Jesus reached out; rescued him and get this: walked with Jesus through the storm… asked Peter why he doubted while in the storm [something that will change his life. wanting to speak into Peter and bring him to the next level of faith and trust in Christ] and it was only until they climbed into the boat…and then the storm stopped.

** what made Peter turn to look at the winds and the waves? could it be the voices of the other disciples: DON’T DO IT! YOU’LL DROWN, PETER! COME BACK!

Jesus did more than rescue him out of his situation- He spoke into Peter’s life… Note that Jesus did not pull Peter out of the predicament but walked through it with him [Yea, though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death...] and taught him while he was in the storm and then after that, the storm passed…and everyone worshipped Jesus!

our testament of God’s faithfulness can only come out from situations we have had to walk through, lessons learnt during the hard and dark times… it is always the darkest just before dawn comes… which will glorify His Name and lead others into worship…

Another thought: the disciples had just seen the feeding of the 5,000 -an absolute miracle.. but why were their faith still so weak?

they are between miracles.. after this they were to see more healings, more deliverances, more breakthrough… did i think they were ready?  not really..

reminds me that my God is more than just mighty to save.. He can take me onto higher heights.. more than just salvation but also sanctification

i love You, Jesus. Thank You.

CHILD

Christ,He Is Lord Definitely (D’uh)

The best way we glorify God is by being what He saved us to be- His children. a child in awe of Him.

what does it mean to be His child?

it means….

… sometimes just standing in awe of His love for us that is so immeasureable

… there will be learning processes

…. times when we don’t fully understand the work of the Father and maybe even doubt whether or not He is doing in for our good (despite Him already reassuring that He loves us soverydeeply and that love=working for our highest good always)

… having fun times with Him and playing in the Son-shine

… enjoying the daily blessings of Son-shine,starry nights,breeze,calm,smiles,beautiful faces,flowers, colors, sight, hearing, music,love, friendship,parents,siblings, community, etc.

… sudden surprises- like random flowers on a path that is (un)usually rocky, a personalised mail in the mailbox, a random card from a muchloved friend, a call/sms to know someone on earth do care,a rainbow (or two), rainydays spent reading with hotchocolate/mocca..

… expressing my love for Him with my own child-lovesong to Him knowing full well it is not the words that matter but the heart behind every syllable

… knowing He is Lord that He has everything under control. it’s like being in a movie where im on the winning side of the good guy who ALWAYS win.

… fully aware that He knows my every thought, intention, motives, reasonbehindthedeed, expression even when i fail to understand myself

… He can help me understand myself and more importantly understand Him

… being loved by the GreatestLover ever!

“See how much out heavenly Father loves us, for He allows us to be called His children, and we really are! …Yes, dear friend, we are already God’s children…” 1 John 3