so i don’t forget

i just came back from being in ED, a chance to attend to the kiddies… it was an interesting experience.

the place was the most bustlingwithactivity area of the hospital! even though what they have may seem so trivial and sometimes the nursingstaff and medicos wonder ‘why would anyone voluntarily wait for at least or up to 5 hours to be seen by someone who will tell them that everything is okay and that x-condition will resolve itself with time. and to keep the fluids up +/- checkin with your LMO/GP within 24hours or 7days…’

however, seeing those parents worried and in someway helpless gave me some insight into what might be going through their mind. that the one thing we can do for them is to reassure them- even verbally confirming that they are doing the right thing and they are good parents brings them some sort of relief.. and empowerment? [sow seeds of encouragement]  making judgments from a distance is not what they need; even though it is the 7645th OM of the day….

perhaps this is why God has not allowed robots to take place of carers, because it is more than a job, it is a ministry and service. it is also reaching out to another with the love of Christ.. to cheer people on this journey. what a privilege.

so i don’t want to forget this… when i come to my 7645th OM.

——–
on another note, i don’t know where my rent soundtrack CDs are. hmm.

——–

a reminder from the past!

“so i won’t give up
no i won’t break down
sooner than it seems life turns around
and i will be strong
even if it all goes wrong
when im stanging in the dark i’d still believ
Someone’s watching over me..”-hd

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scurrying thoughts (if there was ever such a thing)

love as motivator.

fullness of life. A-live

to God be the glory (always, not only for the things He has done)

choices (we make them, no matter how pressing the circumstances are0- the weakest of us still have the power to make thier own choices)

eph 3:16-21

His Spirit in us that empowers… infinately MORE than we would dare to ask or hope or even dream

 hope.

2008- a double portion (2 o’s)

roots go down DEEP

1 peter 5: 6,7->”humble yourself…CAST your burdens” (don’t have to carry the weight of my world)

1 Tim 2 “be strong in the GRACE… in the FAVOUR… “

the latter shall be greater

dreams.

the grace of God (a never-ending lesson)

the grace of God comes through

‘ grace will light a candle in the darkest hour’- Charles Spurgeon

‘ glory is grace in full bloom’ -Charles Spurgeon

thanking God for the things He has set in place even BEFORE the event/circumstance (there’s no denying that He is eternal/timeless/not bound by time) :

• the holiday car
• the apartment we will move into for 2008
• the semi- preparation before hand
• the people to work with
• family 
• the children
• technology (emails, phone, sms)
• whereis.com, street-directory.com
• the ability to read maps
• the friends to journey with
• the coffee machine gift
• the flexibility of AMS

* i reckon they will all be very very instrumental in the next 10 days  or so

how?

how do you lead leaders especially when they are your peers?

how do you become an armour bearer truly without being the ‘nag’?

how do you convey what is in your heart in the best effective/respectful/loving way without losing the impact of the message?

how do you enter into a time of rest with passion not passiveness?

how do  you know that the cry of your heart is genuine and not something of the flesh?

how do you find the way to the higher place after one closed door (ref Luke 7)?

how?

realising that all the how-dos refer to self…. i can’t… the  ME- cant but the Spirit…

*more of Your Spirit Lord, more of Your power Lord, i need more of You…..now,please

Jesus… You are my hero!

ohmygoodness ohmygoodness!

i had the craziest 45 mins of my life thus far

okay.. background: functions was going to give us NDH  for the next few weeks.. BUT they pulled out last minute this week and by the time i found out and tried to make a booking with the University, it was too late for UniRoomBookings to organise everything. SO for 45 mins we were left with NO venue. MURoomBookings just told us to have the meeting cancelled…. so i panicked (i wished i didn’t) but i did.. and i called JonC and TtheP… and we had thought of alternatives… but were met with “sorry, we’re all booked out…”

so in the midst of waiting and making phone calls, i started to really pray and focused.. and put some worship on.. and then a thought came -HolySpirit [rem. living by the Spirit] and i just started to remember the times that God came through for us and i told God that i believed He is more than able to come through for is this time round…

so the thought was to explore trinity college: i got the number off the website and called the conference booking management- praying that it was possible we use the EvanBurgeRoom. so i spoke to the guy and guess what?! We can use the EvanBurge Room- it has about 100-150 capacity and it is available this Friday from 5.30pm to 10.30pm and as i spoke to the building conference manager who is a Christian from a local church, we had a friendly chat about OCF and he asked me what church i was from and stuff.. and the flippin’ fantastic bonus was because we were a Christian Club, he gave us a DISCOUNT!!!!  it is way cheaper than a lecture hall.. and i think more condusive space AND IT IS ON CAMPUS.. and yeah he says it is even possible we booked it regularly.. PRAISE GOD PRAISEGOD!

i don’t know what else to say. i am in awe

i  look back and remember what i was singing during my QT this morning:

“My Jesus is able to calm the seas when they rage

My God is the answer in my weakness He reigns”

Amen

p.s my devotional today was 2 Corinthians 1: 1-11… talk about put-into-practice

8 We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters,^{[ b]} about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. 9 In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. 10 And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again . We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. 11 And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety

p.s. reminder- live by the Spirit

the power of words

so yesterday (wednesday) i was completely frustrated with myself/the computer (ESP MS ACCESS)… i had created a database program thing so that i could enter all my research data in the format of a form so that it can be adapted into a stats package to be analyse  and etc .. super crucial for hte AMS project.. and i had spent Tuesday working on it and finishing up on Wednesday morning after the DePaul round (which in itself is a story on its own-i still morethanloath cats)… and when the form was built i.e. fomatted with a nice layout and stuff… i trialed it.

it did not work.

MAJOR UGH!!!!!

and for the life of me i did not know what was wrong, so i consulted the Statistician on site who referred me to the hospital IT Department, and apparently the IT department “do not support databases created by users, i.e. databases not created by the department” – yes, add to my already Major UGH.. which now becomes MAJOREST UGH!!!

So the MAJOREST UGH + the DePaulRound Molly (yuck+palpitation+anxiety)+rushed homemade mocha+ compromised QT= HEADACHE and morethanMAJORESTUGH!

so in frustration, i left the hospital at 2.15pm (im thankful that the department had so many things going on that no one actualyl commented on my leaving so early plus the other girls were also heading off..)

[side note:im also thankful that even in the midst of the stress and frustration i did NOT delete the whole database -esp the tables and the other clauses that was set up- thanks, HolySpirit]

so in my huff i walked home and halfway thru CarltonGardens, i was reminded of the sermon on Sunday where Ps. Russell shared about the power of our words and how important it was to speak positively into the atmosphere and set the tone.. so i did. i told myself (and God) that “today cannot end this way. it HAS TO get better”

and when i reached home, resisting the urge to sleep it away (and depend on the endocannabinoids) i went onto what i promised my brother- carrot muffins. and i want to also add that i resisted the urge to watch GilmoreGirls- instead, i put my WindowsMediaPlayer on , thought it might be a good idea to put on some worship (i mean if i can’t worship/be superly praise-and-worshipful, then at least the laptop can on my behalf).. but in some way that can only be the HolySpirit’s doing, i decided to listen to the podcasts i had downloaded a few months ago… and i chose JentezenFranklin.

so there i was: a bit of head-throbbing and listening to Jentenzen Franklin while grating carots with a superly small grater. somewhere between listening to the many sermons and finishing the muffins, God came through and just ministered to me.

no, it wasn’t all thunder and lightning and everything frightening, it was in a still and quiet way .. just like a release sort and by the end of it, i felt His peace, His healing and His strength again. i was able to again think straight, put whatever that happened behind me and continue to move forward.

Praise God. Praise God for more than just a healing, but also other bonuses like:

- ideas for MUOCF’s A-night/Commissioning Night when Rachel called

-ideas for NativityPlay and SAS; to believe again and to be reassured that there is always hope, even when everything and everyone says otherwise. impossible is nothing for God [no, i didn't remember it wrongly]

-ideas for my project/ database

-the SaviorKing CD lent to me that arrived unexpectantly (sooner than i anticipated)

AND TODAY! i came into the hospital again (at 8.28am) and i went to the usual ward rounds and saw several patients… and then sat down to semi-startover my database.. and i have finished! and it works.. and i just want to praise GOD

You are so good

“Cause i know my God’s saved the day and i know His Word never fails, and i know my God’s made a way for me “

yay-ness

[note to self: maybe add photos of baking stuff-- erm, apple scone cake, carrot muffins, biscotti i think baking is super good...]

robbed no longer

the past week was crazy to say the least… coming back from a superGod-packed atmosphere of incredible word, worship, powerofGodinaction and miracles should have left me pretty pumped and ready to take on the world

but then it hit- the nauseated feeling, the heaviness, the cloggedupness, the wanting to just curlupinbedforeverandnotseeanyone… yup! i got sick like majorly and i was upset because i had thought, “this isn’t how it is supposed to be!?!?!what in the world was happening?”

and so going through the motion of going to classes and trying my best to recover/not be seen in such a defeated state drained me completely (not to mention that the closetofreezingtemperature did not help much)…

in the beginning, i thought i had the “license” to feel this way (of course, blame Sydney and traveling and lackofsleep, etc) and i had begun to accept the victimised feeling and taking on the other “baggage” that came with it… and that probably was what set me on a downward spiral that lasted about 5 days until the grace of God knocked me over on the way home

once again, i was reminded it wasn’t my strength, it was His

once again, it wasn’t my life, it was one already (and again) surrendered to Him

once again, it wasn’t me who took away the sin of the world, it was Him

once again, it’s all about Him

once again, i am humbled

humbled because, once again He rescued me and picked me up… nothing that i deserved at anypoint- ever

humbled even more because He opened my eyes to what His BIG plan always was

humbled most-est because He still extends the invitation to be part of the adventure

no longer will i be lied to, no longer will i accept the lies that the enemy says that contradict what the Father has already said. i’m back with the power of the Holy Spirit and no longer will i tolerate the less-than-fullest-life because His word tells me He has come to give LIFE and LIFE TO THE FULL

bring it on. my time is not up yet.

Jesus and i are back